Showing posts with label Idiocy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Idiocy. Show all posts

Act Appalled.

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So I'm pretty sure my dad just sold me to two year old chinese slaves. MLIA.

(The MLIA was just cause that sentence sounded like an MLIA.)

This morning at about 6AM my dad pops up. (Now for those of you who don't know, I normally never wake up before ten and never function before twelve.) He has this stack of papers with him and a pen, props the pen in my hand and goes "Sign here please."



So I casually ask him, why, and what is this. Where-to he replies: "Don't worry about it." "It's just a witness thing." "Now, I need you to sign before you're too awake." "You'll see I signed it too." "Could you try sign it nicely please." and this last reply I'm not too sure about, seeing as I was pretty much still asleep. "Don't worry, your mom's already at work." I signed it, though as he was leaving I was all, "So yeah, what, I probably just signed my life away, right?" He just laughed. FML.

(The FML was just cause that paragraph sounded like an FML.)

I'm pretty sure tomorrow a big scary truck will stop in-front of my house and hooded men quite resembling these:

just a lot less KKK-y.


Will run out to my front door, break it down, take me and go pawn me off. Yeah life sounds pretty cool right now. So today I will totally eat WHATEVER I want in case this is actually true. I will run around naked and I will tell people what I think about them.

Anyway.

When I woke up I asked him about it, the most he could say was. "You know your dad won't do anything illegal."

Yeah, I'm going to die, ain't I?

With last loves.
Little-J.

Best Ever.

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So today, something hilarious happened.

I also just had to tell it to my one guy friend who seriously hates me right now, probably.

me: So:
I'm chilling at work today right, and my co-workers start talking about boobs and sizes and shit right. Which I find mildly awkward, cause eh, It's not my normal group of people who'd say shit like that.
Anyway, so she's all yeah what's your size?
I reply:
I'm totally a C cup, bitch.
She goes: Yeh, but what size? So I'm like whut? 34.
So she's like: Yeah, my boobs are way bigger.
I'm like: THE FUCK NOT
Girl goes:
Totally a 36 A.
So I laughed, A LOT.
'Cause not only does that just mean she's fatter than I am,
but she's also got small boobs.
(and don't hate on my hate, this chick called me fat the other day! THE FUCK CHICK, THE FUCK.)


Regardless to say, buddy did not enjoy over share. But it was amazing.

I don't.

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There are a lot of things in life that I do not want.
There are a lot of things in life I do want.


One of the things I feel like now is using this blog, not religiously, not daily, weekly, monthly, or anything else other than when I feel like it. Yet, I don't want to have a blog that's exactly like all the ones my friends have. Also this paragraph is getting too long for my liking.

In the near future, you might:
See a photo montage, you might not.
See all my friends, you might not.
Learn a lot about me, you might not.
Find out how much I enjoy ice cream, you might not.
Meet a talk dark and handsome stranger, you might not.


It's all yet to be seen.
For now.

Hi.
This is me: